Geez, has it really been 3 months?

Catharsis No. 24

Well, I certainly apologize to all 3 of you who have visited my blog over the last few months. I can't believe it's been so long since I've made a post. But to be honest, between a sharp uptick in the amount of time spent in front of a computer at work (it's about 10 hours a day now) and the bigger problem of a wonderful, near 15 year marriage ending in whimpers and uncertain signals, I've just not felt like sitting on the computer for the hours it requires for making appropriate posts. But that may be changing here in the near future.

I've always found writing theraputic; every writer will tell you the act of leaving a piece of your thoughts on a piece of paper is an act in catharsis. I've always chosen in the past that if I wasn't feeling good about my life, my career or my mental health, I'd whip out the last old journal, spend a few days writing then throw it away. The very act of writing the most painful of memories or the raw emotion of a situation, spending the hours it takes to handwrite them into a book and then tossing the whole thing certainly is meant to cleanse, purge and hope for a new beginning.

But now, it seems, times are different and the situations really haven't changed but I have. I now realize I used to be this typical 20-something dreamer. I had the hopeful, inept and inspired vision of mixing the charisma of Jim Morrison, the writing of Charles Bukowski and the looks of Chris Cornell into some sort of new century munge of depression and angst. What I had back then, and I conspicuously lack now, is passion. I've channeled the "raw" passion of my 20's into various endeavors over the years but at a cost to both myself and those around me. But what I had ultimately hoped for myself back then and as I now approach 40, I realize I've become a copy of the typical average American male. I have a steady and well-paying job that I never wanted back then in my 20's, along with the associated "responsibilities" (read: financial bills) that go hand-in-hand with the expected lifestyle. Hell, we even bought a fricken' Jaguar. Who'da thunk that? But my question is now, was this really the life I wanted or something I just let happen to me while I wasn't looking? John Lennon had it right when he said that life happens to you while making other plans...

Anyway, I'll quit the blathering and let the three people from Indonesia go back to their regularly scheduled programming. As far as posting about Austin, I certainly have ideas on some interesting posts and will hopefully be returning back to the regular release that is the putting of virtual pen to virtual paper. I do thank all my friends and family for the support they have given both Jen and myself over the last few months as I'm sure things may have been different without those collective shoulders to cry on. Until next time, my friends!

The above image is available for purchase at the Plus One Gallery and is copyrighted by the artist, Ron Richmond. I'm just borrowing it until I find an appropriate Creative Commons licensed image...